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00:20:18  <jesusabdullah>why is it so friggin' hot in my apartment? :(
00:20:29  <jesusabdullah>Kessler: I got an invoice together, just gotta get the bank info to you
00:20:38  <Kessler>excellent
00:20:40  <jesusabdullah>Kessler: I'm eating food right now, but...SOON
00:20:46  <Kessler>bon apetite
00:20:49  <Kessler>i might be going to sleep
00:20:54  <Kessler>worst case we talk tomorrow
00:24:45  <jesusabdullah>Kessler: email sent
00:24:56  <Kessler>thanks
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01:41:18  <thl0>defunctzombie: substack: from reading this https://github.com/alexgorbatchev/node-browser-builtins/blob/master/builtin/stream.js I conclude browserside streams don't support streaming objects?
01:41:28  <thl0>will that be fixed soon?
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02:59:58  <jesusabdullah>wow all the nginx log parser modules suck balls :(
03:00:01  <jesusabdullah>gonna have to fix that
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03:38:08  <jesusabdullah>but not today, this is a Whole Thing
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04:40:42  <defunctzombie>substack: why does node-browser-builtins exist?
04:40:51  <defunctzombie>substack: those should just be depended on by browserify directly imho
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04:41:12  <defunctzombie>substack: otherwise you just have a useless level of module
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06:14:08  <jesusabdullah>isaacs: are there still known promblems with file watching in node?
06:14:17  <jesusabdullah>isaacs: trying to use a tail -f module
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09:04:55  <jesusabdullah>sup dominictarr
09:05:02  <dominictarr>yo, whats up?
09:05:47  <jesusabdullah>n2m atm chillin'
09:05:48  <jesusabdullah>hah
09:06:02  <jesusabdullah>I ported a sass stylesheet to less
09:06:17  <jesusabdullah>it's honestly kinda dumb that it wasn't raw css to begin with but whatever
09:06:25  <jesusabdullah>and I generated an invoice using latex
09:06:28  <jesusabdullah>totes profesh
09:06:34  <jesusabdullah>and, umm, ate some food at a friend's place!
09:07:05  <jesusabdullah>A bunch of my friends are involved with the local democrat party so I hang out with them and try to weasel out of as much volunteering as I possibly can
09:07:57  <jesusabdullah>also finally replied to a bunch of potential work leads, etc
09:08:08  <jesusabdullah>some of those were sitting in my inbox all week, which is honestly kind of shameful
09:08:14  <jesusabdullah>but better late than never!
09:08:20  <jesusabdullah>ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT ME HOW ABOUT YOU
09:08:20  <LOUDBOT>YOU ARE A CRIMINAL DHOSS
09:08:26  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:08:27  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> THE SOURCE CODE IS NOW DIAMONDS
09:08:30  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:08:31  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> THIS COULD BE DANGEROUS, GENTLEMEN
09:08:37  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:08:37  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> SUBSTACK MAKE ROBOT WATER UNDERS
09:08:40  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:08:40  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> "NO IT IS NOT DONE"
09:08:43  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:08:43  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> I RECOGNIZE THAT RED BORDER YOU XMONAD USER YOU
09:08:47  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:08:47  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> NOW THYATS A MYAVERICK!
09:08:55  <jesusabdullah>wow
09:08:56  * mcollinajoined
09:09:01  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be dominictarr
09:09:02  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <dominictarr:#stackvm> IT'S A SIGN FROM GOD
09:09:03  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be dominictarr
09:09:03  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <dominictarr:#stackvm> SOMEONE CALL THE HOSPITAL
09:09:05  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be dominictarr
09:09:06  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <dominictarr:#stackvm> MAKING EVERYTHING STREAMS AGAIN
09:09:09  <jesusabdullah>hahaha
09:09:10  <jesusabdullah>nice
09:09:12  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:09:13  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> SHOULDN'T YOU BE WRITING A TREATISE
09:09:20  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:09:20  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE A FILE NAME?
09:09:26  <jesusabdullah>LOUDBOT: be jesusabdullah
09:09:26  <LOUDBOT>jesusabdullah: <jesusabdullah:#stackvm> IT WAS PARTLY MY IEA
09:09:30  <jesusabdullah>hah
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09:09:44  <dominictarr>LOUDBOT: be LOUDBOT
09:09:45  <LOUDBOT>dominictarr: DO YOU WANT TO SIT ON MY WEE WEE?
09:10:02  <dominictarr>NO LOUDBOT NO!
09:10:02  <LOUDBOT>OH LOOK AT THAT CHART::GNUPLOT MANAGES TO FUCKING WELL TEST AND INSTALL STRAIGHT OFF
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09:13:26  <jesusabdullah>lolol
09:13:29  <jesusabdullah>shock of shocks
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09:13:35  <jesusabdullah>friggin' gnuplot
09:14:07  <jesusabdullah>oh dominictarr I also did some laundry in the sink cause fuck laundromats
09:14:15  <jesusabdullah>Will I regret that decision? ONLY TIME WILL TELL
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09:14:36  <dominictarr>laundromats are kinda cool
09:14:47  <dominictarr>actually, maybe they are not
09:14:53  <jesusabdullah>lol
09:15:02  <dominictarr>it's just they have a mystique
09:15:11  <dominictarr>because they are on tv
09:15:20  <dominictarr>and I grew up on a farm
09:15:31  <jesusabdullah>dominictarr: http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/kind_of_cool This "kind of cool"
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09:26:03  <Kessler_>Refreshingly funny chat :)
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09:32:02  <jesusabdullah>alright amigos I'm passing out
09:32:12  <jesusabdullah>too tired to reply to this last email
09:32:18  <jesusabdullah>peace homies o/
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10:05:09  <xyxne>no, jesusabdullah
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12:23:20  <creationix>dominictarr: what do you think about my chain syntax?
12:23:31  <dominictarr>link?
12:24:27  <creationix>dominictarr: https://github.com/creationix/min-stream#chain
12:25:57  <dominictarr>is the chain object still a min stream?
12:27:13  <dominictarr>hmm, so I actually changed my mind about using a chainable pipe syntax
12:27:28  <dominictarr>I'm switching a.pipe(b).pipe(c)
12:27:33  <dominictarr>to pull(a, b, c)
12:27:53  <dominictarr>(but you can stilll do pull(a, pull(b, c), d)
12:28:47  <dominictarr>it detects whether the first element is a source, (by checking .length(
12:29:30  <dominictarr>also, check this out: https://github.com/dominictarr/tree-query
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17:13:05  <Raynos>dominictarr: wouldn't `flow(a, b, c)` make more sense?
17:18:38  <jez0990>or `pull(c, b, a)` ;)
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17:36:35  <jcrugzz>idk hiding a pipe chain in a function seems less clear. i guess it is convenient shorthand though
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18:14:38  <Raynos>its not about it being a short hand
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18:14:47  <Raynos>its the fact that it isn't really a pipe chain.
18:14:58  <Raynos>pull-streams have .pipe() for similarity not for semantics
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20:29:40  <jesusabdullah>holy christ it is hot out
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20:31:47  <rch>i was worried it would rain this morning, totally cold windswept foggy at like 8am
20:38:25  <jesusabdullah>I *wish* it was cold
20:38:36  <jesusabdullah>It's ridiculously warm in my apartment right now :C
20:38:41  <jesusabdullah>no AC and it's 65F out
20:38:46  <jesusabdullah>full sun
20:38:58  <jesusabdullah>and the apartment has high R-value, low air circ
20:41:12  <rch>oakland gets really hot and nowhere has AC
20:41:17  <rch>i keep my shades drawn all summer long
20:41:20  <rch>oh wait you're not in oakland
20:42:03  <jesusabdullah>yes I am in the so-called frigid northern wastes right now
20:43:54  <substack>oakland doesn't get hot o_O
20:44:01  <jesusabdullah>yeah it does
20:44:07  <jesusabdullah>don't you lie
20:44:11  <substack>I pretty much always have a jacket or long-sleeved shirt on
20:44:18  <jesusabdullah>that's because you're a lizard
20:44:29  <jesusabdullah>ugh so a job lead gave me a "test"
20:44:36  <jesusabdullah>that is basically a whole bunch of work
20:44:50  <jesusabdullah>and I don't want to do it
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20:45:17  <jesusabdullah>ugh, I might do it anyway
20:45:32  <rch>is it at all interesting?
20:46:19  <jesusabdullah>"this is just a test: port perl::memoize to node with optional S3 backend support
20:46:22  <jesusabdullah>"
20:46:30  <rch>glah
20:46:30  <jesusabdullah>I'm like, "shouldn't I get paid for this?"
20:46:38  <substack>you should yes
20:46:45  <jesusabdullah>I mean, writing a memoizing function is fucking easy
20:46:50  <rch>kind of dumb too
20:46:54  <jesusabdullah>having to look up how2s3? that's a whole nother thing
20:46:59  <substack>but "optional s3 backend support" for fucks sake
20:47:06  <jesusabdullah>yeah exactly
20:47:12  <jesusabdullah>I feel like I'm getting hoodwinked here
20:47:16  <jesusabdullah>probably not the intent
20:47:21  <jesusabdullah>haha, I have an idea
20:47:44  <jesusabdullah>module.exports = function optionalS3Support() { throw Error('you need to upgrade to memoize PRO'); }
20:48:18  <jesusabdullah>yeah, doing this
20:48:25  <jesusabdullah>I only jump through so many hoops for free
20:54:40  <Domenic_>that's awesome
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21:20:50  <jcrugzz>jesusabdullah: hopefully they have a sense of humor
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21:23:22  <jjjohnny>jesusabdullah: you should refuse to be tested
21:23:28  * mikolalysenkojoined
21:23:31  <jjjohnny>you should test them
21:23:41  <jjjohnny>say, read my code
21:23:53  <jjjohnny>you dont think I can code? fuck you
21:24:51  <jjjohnny>or some nice approach to same
21:26:12  <jjjohnny>unless you really love them and want to work with them, then you miight as well do whatever they ask
21:27:03  <jjjohnny>i already been through that with companies and recruiters. I tell em straight, I'm not taking your test, you can read my code, run my apps, etc...
21:31:11  <creationix>Raynos: around?
21:39:55  <jesusabdullah>Yeah, I already wrote everything but the S3
21:39:59  <jesusabdullah>I'm not writing an S3 cache
21:41:17  <Raynos>creationix: pong
21:41:50  <creationix>Raynos: what do you think about a function that returns a readable stream, but needs to do some I/O related setup first
21:41:58  <creationix>should It return a continuable containing the stream
21:42:08  <creationix>or report the error the first time read it called
21:42:59  <Raynos>creationix: you can either say `return concat([asyncSetup, stream])` where concat := (Array<Stream | Continuable>)
21:43:06  <Raynos>or you can return a continuable for a stream
21:43:21  <Raynos>creationix: is it min streams or streams2 ?
21:43:26  <creationix>min-stream
21:43:40  <Raynos>i would disallow the concat thing for streams2 and allow it for min-streams
21:43:53  <Raynos>Although Continuable<Stream> is ok too
21:44:04  <Raynos>it really depends whether it's a two stage thing
21:44:20  <Raynos>i.e. is the fact that it's a two stage thing an important part of the API surface or an implementation detail
21:44:24  <creationix>ok, so cont = createReadStream("path/to/file", options)
21:44:30  <Raynos>if it's important then Continuable<Stream>
21:44:41  <creationix>that's where I'm unsure
21:44:45  <creationix>I think it's important
21:44:50  <creationix>the file might not exist
21:44:55  <creationix>or you might not have write access
21:45:11  <creationix>errors are much more likely in that setup than during the actual streaming
21:45:17  <creationix>and easier to handle in a continuable
21:45:20  <Raynos>if its an implementation detail then you can just return MinStream and have it do the async bit first
21:45:26  <creationix>especially once we have generators to yield them to
21:45:36  <Raynos>for file streaming I would actually return a MinStream directly
21:45:59  <creationix>even for cases where the error case is common?
21:46:00  <Raynos>because I think the open(); while() { read() } cleanup() life cycle is a natural part of a stream
21:46:39  <creationix>I do want to optimize for generators I think
21:46:56  <Raynos>well I dont know what streams would look like in generators tbh
21:46:57  <creationix>source = yield createReadStream("path")
21:47:02  <Raynos>i havnt gone that far yet
21:47:05  <creationix>no, the stream itself would be the same
21:47:14  <creationix>I'm not messing with that
21:47:24  <creationix>FRP is better for streams
21:47:28  <creationix>performs a lot better too
21:47:50  <Raynos>Another thing to think of
21:48:00  <Raynos>var text = yield read("path")
21:48:17  <Raynos>var stream = readStream("path"); while (var chunk = yield stream.read()) { ... }
21:48:26  <Raynos>you don't do
21:48:45  <Raynos>var reader = yield read("path"); var text = yield reader.allAsText()
21:48:57  <Raynos>when reading the file as a string you don't do it a two stage open vs read thing
21:49:23  <creationix>right, but I don't see why that matters
21:49:42  <creationix>non-streaming and streaming are two different things
21:50:12  <Raynos>because with non-streaming your collapsing the two calls to open & read into a single returned continuable
21:50:26  <Raynos>with streams your not collapsing the two because it's non trivial to collapse a continuable and a min stream into one thing
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21:50:43  <Raynos>I would personally collapse them into a single min stream
21:50:57  <Raynos>creationix: Also is your min stream the same as dominictarr's pull stream ?
21:51:40  <creationix>nearly
21:51:48  <creationix>we encode end slightly differently
21:51:57  <creationix>his is (true, doesNotMatter)
21:52:10  <creationix>mine is (falsy, undefined)
21:52:46  <Raynos>so for you end === undefined
21:52:58  <creationix>right, when the data is undefined, it's end
21:53:04  <creationix>if err is truthy, it was an error end
21:53:09  <creationix>otherwise it was a non-error end
21:53:36  <creationix>so my eos checks are if (item === undefined) vs if (err)
21:53:36  <Domenic_>streams vs. generators (not generators-used-as-callbacks, generators-used-as-sequences). Discuss
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21:53:50  <Domenic_>As a refresher, you get an object with .next() that returns { done, value }
21:54:04  <creationix>Domenic_: but those streams aren't async
21:54:16  <creationix>you have to either yield something or end
21:54:23  <Domenic_>creationix: hmm, yeah.
21:54:39  <creationix>unless of course it could yield promises or continuables
21:54:40  <Domenic_>but still, reminds me of .read()
21:54:54  <Domenic_>right but how would you know when you're done, hmm
21:55:19  <jesusabdullah>https://gist.github.com/jesusabdullah/5752748
21:55:39  <jesusabdullah>If you ever needed a memoization function or an unannotated example of a half-life calculation.......
21:55:59  <mbalho>jesusabdullah: posted a new idea to https://github.com/grncdr/browserify-as-a-service/issues/3
21:56:45  <jesusabdullah>mbalho: cool, will read
21:57:30  <jesusabdullah>hmmmmm what should I eat today?
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22:00:53  <creationix>Raynos: so return a continuable or wait till first read to report problems with setup?
22:01:05  <Raynos>i'd do the latter
22:01:10  <creationix>why?
22:01:35  <Raynos>for parity with fs.createReadStream and fs.readFile
22:01:36  <creationix>it only seems easier if you ignore errors
22:01:42  <Raynos>both return N<String>
22:02:05  <creationix>how many times do you have to use .onde with createReadStream to check for setup errors though
22:02:11  <Raynos>creationix: if you have a use-case where you want to specifically intercept the fdopen errors then sure a continuable is fine
22:02:12  <creationix>min-streams don't have an easy way to implement once
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22:10:08  <creationix>Raynos: I guess the question is will I have different error handling code for early errors vs stream errors
22:10:24  <creationix>there are cases where I want to only read a file if it exists
22:10:25  <Raynos>creationix: the answer is do you care?
22:10:40  <Raynos>creationix: I normally do a stat and then read the file
22:10:47  <creationix>sure, but that's wasteful
22:10:50  <Raynos>instead of pre-emptively reading the file and bailing on the ESTAT error
22:10:56  <creationix>also it's a race condition
22:11:11  <creationix>(not a very common race condition though)
22:11:13  <Raynos>this is true
22:11:55  <creationix>of course if I was using something like https://github.com/dominictarr/pull-glob then all the statting is already done for me
22:12:58  <jesusabdullah>mbalho: I dig it. That plays into what th0 and I discussed as well
22:16:25  <jesusabdullah>mbalho: Do you know how to disable pre/post hooks in npm?
22:17:30  <mbalho>jesusabdullah: dunno
22:17:50  <jesusabdullah>isaacs: Can you disable npm hooks via the cli?
22:18:37  <jesusabdullah>isaacs: While I'm harassing you, how do you disable installing dev deps again? :b
22:18:40  <jesusabdullah>er, :v
22:27:52  <Domenic_>yeah Raynos don't do that
22:28:01  <Raynos>Domenic_: ?
22:28:05  <Domenic_>stat then read
22:28:24  <Raynos>i tend to do if (!stat) { mkdir } a bit
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22:28:49  <Domenic_>no just do the thing and handle errors if they happen. ideally.
22:29:06  <Raynos>well handling errors is going to create them
22:29:37  <Raynos>but you are right its kind of bad of me to do all these things
22:29:53  <Raynos>not quite sure what the alternative would look like
22:30:03  <Domenic_>mmm. maybe it's more complicated for your case. but at least for the naive case if (stat) { read } is bad and should be replaced by read + handle ENOEXIST error
22:38:25  <jesusabdullah>ENOENT you mean?
22:38:37  <jesusabdullah>Error: ELOLWUT
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22:39:27  <jesusabdullah>okay so I think I'm looking alright in terms of my TDL, I dealt with that one dude, I hit up ded and taterbase, umm...
22:39:33  <jesusabdullah>...yeah, not forgetting anything. I think.
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22:39:59  <jesusabdullah>I guess I'll go for a walk and then hack on either browserify-cdn or my latest freelance gig
22:40:06  * jesusabdullahthinks
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22:43:10  <isaacs>jesusabdullah: --production
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22:43:28  <isaacs>jesusabdullah: and no, there's no way to disable npm hooks via cli
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23:01:32  <jesusabdullah>isaacs: a'ight
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23:01:57  <jesusabdullah>I think easiest way is to just strip hooks from the package.json before running it
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23:05:31  <jesusabdullah>lol, that guy I did the test for asked for advice on how to see if someone had chops or not
23:05:35  <jesusabdullah>and I was like, "github brah"
23:06:14  <jcrugzz>jesusabdullah: teaching recruiters as a service
23:08:43  <jesusabdullah>lol yup
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23:08:55  <chapel>lol
23:09:11  <chapel>problem is, the people doing the recruiting don't know code, or what is good code
23:09:49  <jcrugzz>chapel: gotta start somewhere lol. if a recruiter wants to actually be effective, they need to learn code
23:09:52  <jcrugzz>or enough code
23:09:56  <ralphtheninja>chapel: which makes them useless :)
23:10:26  <ralphtheninja>programmers should recruit programmers
23:10:51  <jcrugzz>agreed ^^, or programmers should recruit themselves
23:11:06  <jesusabdullah>Have you guys seen the new gchat emoticons?
23:11:16  * fallsemojoined
23:11:24  <jcrugzz>lol no
23:11:26  <jesusabdullah>It looks like they got substack to drink an entire bottle of whiskey and told him to draw some smileys on his tablet
23:12:15  <jesusabdullah>"smiley fasches? thish is fuckin eashy"
23:12:17  <jesusabdullah>TWO WEEKS LATER
23:12:18  <LOUDBOT>I'M SICK OF THIS
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23:22:42  <jesusabdullah>hello Mr. Mann
23:25:06  <jesusabdullah>rannmann: rannfred mann with Rinded Ry Rhe Right https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcWVL4B-4pI
23:25:20  <rannmann>hiya
23:25:27  <rannmann>I don't have speakers or headphones
23:26:02  <jesusabdullah>like you don't know that song anyway
23:26:10  <rannmann>I don't :(
23:26:32  <jesusabdullah>really
23:26:38  <rannmann>really
23:26:50  <jesusabdullah>"blinded by the light, wrapped up like a deuce..."
23:26:51  <rannmann>who the hell charges $900/mo for 100 meg internet
23:26:58  <jesusabdullah>except everyone hears "douche"
23:27:24  <rannmann>got a dedicated server quote from this one datacenter in NY
23:27:25  <rannmann>Monthly Charges, Month-to-Month Contract: $1,158.00
23:27:33  <jesusabdullah>hah
23:27:35  <rannmann>for almost exactly what I have now through a different company
23:27:39  <rannmann>that's $115/mo
23:27:53  <jesusabdullah>yeah
23:27:59  <jesusabdullah>I have a $15 vps
23:28:02  <jesusabdullah>g'nuff
23:28:09  <jesusabdullah>so y ur movin again
23:28:15  <rannmann>we're capping out our dedicated, so we're getting another soon
23:28:17  <rannmann>oh, we already moved
23:28:25  <jesusabdullah>k so y ur movd again
23:28:39  <jesusabdullah>to be fair I'm probably movin' again
23:28:41  <rannmann>because the east coast is a shithole
23:28:44  <jesusabdullah>job market in AK sucks
23:28:55  <jesusabdullah>I heard nyc is pretty sweet
23:28:58  <rannmann>we moved to MA because chloe works at Red Hat
23:29:01  <jesusabdullah>O-town is a shithole
23:29:06  <jesusabdullah>oh no shit? that's cool
23:29:14  <jesusabdullah>Am I still on Chloe's shit list?
23:29:21  <rannmann>in Portland she was working for Intel, but bailed because it was terrible
23:29:24  <rannmann>probably
23:29:38  <jesusabdullah>Figures
23:29:49  <rannmann>now she's working remotely for red hat, so we moved back to a coast that we liked
23:29:52  <jesusabdullah>ಠ_ಠ
23:29:54  <rannmann>like 15 minutes from Canada :D
23:30:14  * no9quit (Ping timeout: 255 seconds)
23:30:17  <jesusabdullah>That's a long time to hold a grudge, man
23:30:21  <jesusabdullah>a long-ass time
23:30:31  <rannmann>Well, you did call her a whore in front of everyone she knew
23:30:46  <jesusabdullah>Umm no I didn't
23:30:48  <jesusabdullah>that was Lisa
23:31:00  <jesusabdullah>I said I was worried that she was leading you on and that you were my friend
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23:31:13  <jesusabdullah>Obviously I was wrong
23:32:02  <jesusabdullah>Believe it or not I used to give a shit about your well-being
23:34:10  <jesusabdullah>Plus, I've grown up a lot since then. As we all do.
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23:50:32  <jesusabdullah>*sigh*
23:51:57  <jesusabdullah>I'll take my sandwich in the study.
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